20

bruised

I am definitely not prepared for today.
Last night I sat, glued to the television 
as numbers flitted in and out, up and down, 
red and blue. Opinions and analyses challenged 
rational thought and slowly crashed hopes for 
a decent outcome. The desired outcome.

The realization grew in me that no matter 
the determined promises, the humane appeals, 
the jaded statements, the harsh, the cold, 
the targeted, the gravity of ignorance was 
slowly pulling world view out of balance.

So off to bed.

In my daydreams, I exist in spaces where 
questions are currency, tools, and bridges 
from self to others. Classless classrooms 
where inquiry deepens the commitment to 
understanding our world and then obligates us, 
like a contract, to believe that this power 
as knowledge brandishes no sword.

I wake and begin deflating.

I am definitely not prepared for today.

In my spaces power is flattened, 
decisions are collaborative, 
there is no cost for wrong answers.

Knowing by doing for learning, 
challenges irrational thought and slowly, 
hopefully, sense making of the mysterious 
unfolds in waves of shared momentum. 
We move together. 
We stay together.

A new inquiry breaks me.
What have we done?

Strapped into my growth mindset, 
differentiated to the nines, 
and seeking refuge in a fractured 
rite of passage at new view emerges. 
We cannot go back, but can I go forward?

I step into this new big picture, 
this fear filled landscape, 
pillared by grudge and grief and 
walled in with rusted rhetorics.

I am definitely not prepared for today.

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